She's got a pretty good expression going but the lightings a bit harsh. Especially in the hair and on her cheek. What sort of light modifier are you using on your SB800?
If you aren't using it try the bounce cap that came with it. Position the flash head at a 45 deg angle and that'll diffuse the light fairly well. You might want to dial the power back a stop or two on close shots like this as well. If you haven't tried it I seriously like the Gary Fong Lightsphere anmd now he is making a Universal that'll fit my 500EX, 420EX and SB80DX for my Coolpix 5000.
All in all I'd say she shows some potential and you should both be able to learn from each other!
R